What I have not been doing though, is taking care of myself. I am a caregiver by nature and so it is very easy for me to put everyone else first and take care of them, and work towards their problems getting fixed without working on my own. Avoidance is my favorite form of "therapy" though I know it only makes things worse, I just have problems putting my needs first.
|4mth old Yadi, The day it all went wrong|
|Loki Austrialian Cattle Dog|
|Yadi and Loki mid play session|
What I did not see was that I was failing him because my Compassion Fatigue, the loss of yet another close mentor and trainer friend to suicide and how mentally and physically exhausting it was to put on my confident face that was needed for my training clients, that I just curled up and wanted to avoid everything when I got home. I was not giving him all the structure he needed at home to let him know that I was ok and he didn't need to take care of me.
|Yadi and Marley|
They are definitely a bonded pair now. They need to know where the other is at all times. What ever Marley says goes, she is the oldest in the house at almost 3. She is also our fun police as we call it. She doesn't like anyone to be running around having playtime, she will often get after Ian or Connor for running in the house and nip at their heels. She has a grudge against Connor. Before she came to live with us Connor who we thought at 17 was old enough to know how to behave for us to leave him home long enough for us to run pick up Ian from Daycare less than 5 minutes away. When we got home, I could hear Connor shouting in a deep voice and Yadi barking. As I opened the door, Yadi ran out and would not go back in without me. Well incident has cause us no end of issues with Connor and the Corgis. Yadi took his guarding to include Connor now. Keeping him from me and from Ian. I told Connor for weeks before we brought Marley home that he needed to get it under control. He damaged the relationship, he was the one who had to fix it.
|Marley having gotten caught|
herding Kona in the
Marley would often herd Kona into her crate and sit in front of it and not let her out. I didn't really pay much attention to it other than her just being the fun police and most of the time when she did it, Kona and Yadi had been getting pretty rowdy and playing around. I would call her off and she would behave herself and let Kona out of the crate and go on.
I started to notice at one point that Marley no longer wanted to go outside anymore. I would have to let Yadi and Kona out and then go pick Ms Marley up and carry her outside. I didn't pay it much attention other than it was getting colder and we had been having so much rain, I thought that it was just too muddy for her. What I don't understand is that if she was having problems with Kona in the crate, she never acted like she didn't want to get in the crate. As soon as I stood beside it, she was the first one in it.
Yadi and Kona playing
Before I knew what was going on at my feet the girls were in a knock down drag out. I didn't think twice, I just reached down between them trying to get them apart. After what felt like a hour of trying I finally managed to get them across my kitchen and apart to get Kona in her crate and Marley in hers. It was then as the fear and adrenaline started to clear that I realized that someone had got me a couple times while I was trying to get them apart.
|Right after the fight|
|After going to see|